Heaven is starting to look real good...

I always used to wonder why you used to hear, "Rest in peace" when someone died. Now I know. This life is hard, real hard. And if you're single, it's double hard. It's a couples world, and the loneliness gets overwhelming sometimes. And the financial burden is twice as hard on a single person. And a single mother? Five times harder. I don't know how I'm going to make it. I've been in this situation before, but I was younger, and there is always more hope when you're younger.

Let's face it, I'm in sales and they always want young and pretty, and I'm beyond that now. I've heard, "You never miss what you never had," but I grew up with very stable parents with a father that owned his own business, and life just seemed so secure with him. I'm terrible with money, which is scary, and I keep trying to be better, but that area of my brain is damaged. They say, "it takes a village to raise a child." I certainly agree with that. It did with my older two children. There were 4 grandparents, 2 parents, and lots of people to help back then. My village is much smaller for my youngest, and she has a different 'village,' but even with that, I'm not sure we can remain in this town, as there are NO jobs, and the ones that have been here are drying up... Getting older is hard and scary, but so much worse when you're alone. No wonder the stats show married people live longer lives than single people. When it's just you, it's extremely stressful. God is helping me; it's how we've made it this far. And I don't know how we're going to make it in the future, but we're in His hands, so He will have to make a way. I need a 'Moses moment,' where He parts the Red Sea. The Israelites are chasing us and we're cornered at the edge of the water.....

I'm ready for the sea to part now.