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Monday, February 25, 2013

Snarky Oscars 2013 Red Carpet Review with Alex

 Me: Okay, let's go - just saw Jessica Chastain - looks killer good - perfect color for her
Alex: She is stunning
Me: Old Hollywood glamour
Me: Why does Kelly O still have purple hair?
Alex: Idk. I'm over it.
Me: Ha yes
Me: Both E gals in black? I thought we said a "black-free zone..."
Alex: I know. Blah.
Alex: Jessica looks so elegant.
Me: She's SOOO cute
Alex: So sweet
Me: Ryan Seacrest never changes - he's like Dick Clark
Alex: Love Ryan. So reliable and classy.
Me: Yes, he is a class act
Me: Amy Adams looked nice in that quick shot
Alex: Yes, but I really want some WOW moments this year, not just "that's nice"
Me: sooooo true
Me: I don't know the emcee this year - Seth somebody
Alex: He's the creator of Family Guy :/
Me: Amy needs a necklace
Me: Oooooh I DO love Amy's dress now that I see all of it
Alex: Amy needs more color but I like the dress and the look
Me: Its' southern belle. I agree on color - more for a dark brunette

 Me: Samantha Barks -- that looks trashy... and cheap and gross - and black - argggg
Alex: I bet Amy's dress is beautiful in person
Me: Yeah, me too
Me: Channing Tatum's wife is so pretty - she's from Texas
Me: Zoe Saldana looks good in white
Me: Kerry Washington always looks classy
Me: Reese's hair looks great
Alex: E shows their own people too much
Me: I know!!
Me: Channing Tatum is not my type
Alex: Not mine either
Alex: Reese looks very old Hollywood bombshell
Me: Reese looks pretty but I don't like that color on her... but her hair makes it though
Alex: True!
Me: I like her in pastels
Me: Octavia rocks! Always perf for her
Alex: Octavia looks amazing. Love the tulle!
Me: Me too! She's so southern
Alex: Kerri looks great in coral
Me: Yes perf!
Alex: It had some really pretty details
Me: and sparkle
Alex: Zoe Saldana's dress is awesome - very cool
Me: Yes & unique
Me: Reese is darling
Alex: Reese's dress is a smidge boring but the whole look is a success
Me: Yes, very smart - Polished
Alex: Exactly
Me: They all look very skinny
Me: They're all probably very hungry
Me: I can't decide if I like Amanda Seyfried's dress...
Me: Almost all of them have their hair up
Me: And Jennifer Lawrence's look is kind of boring
Alex: I love lavender but I hate turtlenecks
Me: Yes, turtlenecks should never be worn to award shows - unless you just had neck surgery...
Me: Sally Field's dress looks like an old nightgown - although she looks super young for her age
Alex: JL is the Givenchy spokesperson and her dresses have been so one note
Me: That is very disappointing - and her hair is boring - she is so pretty but what an average look
Alex: But JL is hilarious
Me: Oh yeah, I love her personality
Alex: Not a pageant pony
Me: Just saw the bottom of JL's dress finally - it's really cool though
Alex: SO bland. An all white column dress is for weddings.
Me: I totally agree
Alex: Zoe Saldana is the only risk taker so far.
Alex: Catherine Zeta Jones looks gorgeous - very va va voom
Me: I'm not sure that I like it - it's a little too garish for me
Me: But she is a gorgeous lady
Alex: It's not drab. I'm over drab! Bring on the fabulous!
Me: Right on!
Alex: I'm on the fence about Melissa McCarthy
Me: Kinda drab gray
Me: Nothing fabulous yet
Me: I don't like Jennifer Hudson's dress at all - not the right dress for the Oscars
Alex: Too much going on
Me: Weirrrddd
Alex: But the color is nice on her
Me: Yep
Me: Ryan is so short
Me: Catherine Zeta Jones' dress is too gold for me - she looks like an Oscar statue
Alex: I think it's awesome
Me: Is she your best dressed so far?
Me: I guess Jessica Chastain is best dressed so far
Alex: Me too
Me: Helen Hunt reminds me of my sister a little bit
Alex: Totally
Me: If I were a star and I were there, I would want to be in something very unique - I think I would take a chance
Me: Jane Fonda looks really good for her age but she's had a lot of work done
Alex: Jane looks so good
Me: I love Ann Hathaway's dress for her - it's very 70's retro and I like it
Alex: Hate it
Me: Hmmmm, I love it
Alex: HATE it
Me: (laughing)
Me: Naomi Watts has a lot of sparkly but I don't know if I like it - it's almost futuristic
Alex: Naomi took a risk. It's quite modern.
Me: At least it's not boring - again silver should be on a dark brunette
Me: I hate Charlize's hair
Me: I'm not digging the dress either
Alex: White. Boring.
Me: Yeah. Too simple of jewelry
Alex: The Oscars are always a disappointment. Everything is either one color and structured or a very blah color ball gown.
Me: I know, the stylists have taken over it all and the designers
Me: They dictate too much - it was a lot more exciting and unique when I was in high school
Me: Jennifer Aniston's in red?!?! Not white or black??!! It's crazy -- we should buy a lottery ticket
Alex: Lol!!
Me: Ha ha look at Bradley Cooper's mother in a boa
Alex: Rockin' the boa
Me: I guess the women of E were told to wear black?
Me: Blah blah blah
Alex: Most of the nominees have already rocked the carpet
Me: Hmmm, lets' switch to ABC because they are live now
Alex: Cool
Me: The Golden Globes are still my favorite - way more fun and it adds the TV people
Me: Bradley Cooper's mother has on silver tennis shoes with her boa
Me: I like Kristin Chenowith's dress better than most of the stars
Me: What do you think of Nicole Kidman's dress? Flattering on her - they make a cute couple
Alex: I think Bradley Cooper's mom is a hoot
Me: Yeah, his mother said she "just pulled her dress out of her closet"
Me: Charlize looks like a robot
Alex: If Charlize can't pull off a pixie cut, no one can
Me: It just looks too manly - even on her
Alex: Nicole's looks great. But she is so vanilla to talk to
Me: Yeah, she seems like she was mad
Alex: Lose the 'tude dude
Me: Haha!
Alex: Kristin Chenowith is very proud of how small she is
Me: Hugh Jackman's wife is in a black tux-looking outfit??
Me: Yeah, Kristin is Kathy P. - haha - I don't know if you remember me talking about that tiny girl in my sorority who always thought she was so cute and said, "I'm Kathy P and I wear child size clothes!"
Me: Halle Berry is AMAZING
Me: I didn't realize how big Adele is
Alex: (Halle) so fabulous
Alex: Stacy (Kiebler) wins
Me: I don't think I like Stacy's dress
Alex: What???!!??
Me: I mean it's okay but for some reason it's bothering me
Alex: Love it!!!!!
Me: But she gets points for being unusual
Me: Okay Sandra Bullock looks pretty - it's black but I do like the sparkle
Wrapping up on our favorite dresses
Alex:
1. Stacy Keibler
2. Halle Berry
3. Jessica Chastain
Me:
1. Amy Adams
2. Halle Berry
3. Jessica Chastain
4. Octavia
Alex: My #4 is Bradley Cooper's mom. What a hoot!
Me: Yes, she wins most personality!!!

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