"Life is a gift, that's why they call it the present..."

Today my youngest daughter and I attended a very sad funeral. It was for the husband of one of DD's teachers (and dance team sponsor.) When I used to work for the newspaper here, he used to come in occasionally to do an ad, and was so funny that I remembered him. He seemed larger than life, and was super charismatic. He was an incredible craftsman, and as a self-made man, had built a nice living for his family, which also included a son and daughter who are now in their twenties. A few years ago, they bought a nice ranch nearby, and seemed to be doing well. So it was a terrible shock to his wife of 30 years, his family, and pretty much this entire town that he took his own life last Thursday. To my knowledge, he did not leave a note. Here was this wonderful guy, who was healthy, married to the "love of his life" as he said, with 2 great kids, who decided to check out. They seemed to be okay with money, and health, and friends. No one can figure this one out. His daughter is engaged to be married soon, and they said he was excited and building her something. He had lots to look forward to.
The church was packed today, and he was a regular church goer. His pastor and another speaker, cried and said they couldn't figure it out either. Lots of funny stories were told about him, and everyone had one. He was one of the biggest characters around. I mean, think movie star charisma. This guy could've been in movies and been a hit - he was that cool. He came from a large family and they were all there. All in shock. All looking dumbfounded. His immediate family and mother sat on the front row, and his son seemed, well, angry. His pastor said there would be a lot of emotions to deal with, and started with anger. (sigh) I know about these things since my father committed suicide 10 years ago. And you never really get over it. There's always this nagging guilt that you could've done something so that they would not have made that decision. But in my dad's case, my mother had died the week prior, and his prostate cancer was back with a vengeance, so he didn't see anything good ahead. Not that anyone should ever make that choice, but his was easier to understand than the man today.
Getting older is crappy but, for most, it beats the alternative. Because life is a wonderful gift and we should use our minutes to the best of our ability. I guess I'll never understand.
Never, never, never...