Dear Mom,
You've been gone for twelve years and I miss you as much today as the day you died - no, make that much much more. I wish we had the opportunity to talk to our loved ones one more time after they were gone. And I would want that time with you to be now.
I'm struggling so hard mom. And I've been super super sick. And so has DD.
Sigh...
The world is turned upside down. You wouldn't even believe how things are now compared to 2002 when you passed. You did get to see how 9/11 changed this country, but you only saw it one year in. The sad thing? Everyone has resigned themselves to this country accepting a more socialist/communist way of life and no one has any fight in them....
Making money is so hard now. Raising kids is so hard now. No one has dinner at the dinner table any more like we used to. I never get to see my brother and sister much. We are all far apart and everyone is trying to keep their head above water. My son is struggling so terribly and misses you so very much. And Alex is pregnant again, and we are all sad that you aren't here to see your big smile and feel your tight hugs. It's so hard to get older and even harder when you don't have any money. You were blessed to never have to work, and to be okay on the money front in your senior years. I don't have that luxury.
Mom, I just don't see a light at the end of the tunnel - not in this life anyway. I know someday, if I continue to follow Jesus, that I will get to go to heaven.
Until then, it's pretty bleak...