Dedicated to my children
My youngest child, DD, is 14 and until she hit puberty was a sunshine-y, happy soul. But over the last year her life experiences have taken their toll and she's just sad all of the time. Has very much changed? Nope. Not in the big scheme of things, but somewhere around her age a blissful blindfold of childhood is removed and they start to see things in a different light. We live in a small town of "Have's" and "Have-not's" (which is basically the owner of the local stores and those that work there.) Once this blindfold is removed, they start comparing themselves to their peers that seem to have it the best.
My mom advice is this: Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy with whatever you have. Yes, you can still aspire for more but you must be happy with what you currently have.
DD made straight (high) A's all year, made cheerleader, made captain, is healthy and cute, yet doesn't think she has anything to be happy about. Are there inherent problems in her life? Of course. But so much of life is attitude, and that will be what gets you through. One of my coworker's father was murdered in front of her at the age of 4. She has chosen to be happy and live life to the fullest. Her mother, on the other hand, chose to check out a long time ago and lives on government checks. She actually remembers the day her mother said she was going to go fake crazy so she didn't have to work any more. She did, the doctors they sent her to prescribed all kinds of meds, and she took them, and has wasted her entire adult life away.
Today in a talk about this subject, DD scoffed when I said she should be happy that she can walk, talk, run, see, smell, hear, taste, etc. I just read this morning that a 16 year old in the town I work in, dove in the (shallow) river yesterday and is now paralyzed from the waist down. We can't ever take these things for granted. Yes, we don't get to go to Europe, or Hawaii, or even be able to leave Texas at this point, but we are healthy and employed, and that is huge these days.
The best-selling book a few years ago, "The Secret" has some questionable content but it also has some truths. You can call it "the Law of Attraction" or whatever you want, but if you're grumpy and sullen, no one wants to hang around you. Some of the best advice I've ever gotten is, "People like to be around other people who are fun and interesting." Wow. Let that digest. So simple yet so life-changing. You don't have to be zany but no one wants to be around a Debbie Downer because it brings them down too. People like to laugh. It gives them those feel-good endomorphins. People like to be entertained. It's why all good entertainers, whether it be actor, musician, comedian or sports figure, are all wealthy because we put a high price on someone entertaining us.
We've all heard the expression, "Glass half empty or glass half full," and it really is your choice on how you want to see the glass. And it's your choice whether you want to go through life happy or depressed depending on your circumstances. I think happiness is based on meeting our own expectations. So, if you're 50 and unmarried and have no retirement, you can choose to be unhappy. Or, you can change your expectation and decide that you're still appreciative of what you do have and will enjoy it.
It really is your CHOICE.
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