"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal."

I can't believe it's been 19 years... Yes, 19 years ago today, March 27, 1992, I was working at the San Antonio Light newspaper in advertising sales... There were 6 of us in automotive advertising sales, 3 women and 3 men. The gal that sat next to me at work was younger than me, and such a fun person. We would go out to sell to the automotive dealer managers to get copy during the day, and were usually back at the office by 3:30 or 4. It was a very stressful job, so we would always joke around to make life a little more fun. Shelly was upset that day, since she was responsible for a large insert for the Gunn Automotive Group, that owned several dealerships. We always worked late every day... When I was finally done with my work, I SHOULD have asked her if she needed help, but I didn't... I had 2 children and needed to go home, but I should have asked her... It will always haunt me that I didn't...

The next day when I got to work, all of the managers had a grim look on their face and called a meeting for the automotive group. We filed into a small conference room, and I said, "We have to wait for Shelly!" but there was silence. I looked around and they relayed she had been in a car accident the night before. She didn't make it.... What?? Here was this darling girl so full of life who sat 1 1/2 feet from me... What do you mean?? She had finished up work and gone with a friend to eat at her favorite chinese food restaurant and drank too much wine. She drove to the guy she was dating's house, who happened to be one of the car manager's of a huge dealership in San Antonio. He was mad that she was drunk and they had an argument. He grabbed her keys and said she couldn't drive, but when he went into the other room, she grabbed them and got in her car. She was only 100' from her apartment at a bend in the road, when she hit a telephone pole. They said she was able to tell the people who got to her car, his name and number, and then she went unconscious. We heard they took her to the best hospital, and that the hospital staff said she was damaged internally so much that there was nothing they could do, so it took an hour and a half and she died. They called her mother in Fort Worth and asked if she could be an organ donor. Then they took all of her organs...

When I saw her car, a Mercury Tracer, it looked better than most of the cars I've had wrecks in and walked away. It just never made sense. I always had a hunch that they just were waiting for some kind of organ... I don't know... It made me sad, but it made me angrier. One of my favorite people gone in a flash. And no one called me. This was before cell phones but someone could have called my home. I would have gone up there and fought for her. I would have insisted that they work on her. It still angers me now...

I really took that death hard. My children will tell you I was depressed for a year. And I did blame myself for not helping her that night because it was the right thing to do. Maybe it all would have turned out different. I guess I'll never know. I just know that Shelly Parker was such a fun friend and it was a stupid way to die, and when she needed people most, they let her down.

Rest in peace Shelly....