"Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes." - Andy Warhol

Well, I'm still really exhausted and when I'm exhausted, I get really snarky. I'm too tired to pontificate on a quote, so I'll snark on 'Dancing With the Stars.' Like Jon & Kate's Plus 8's, Kate Gosselin. Here's someone who doesn't interest me in the least. She is a regular person who happened to have 8 children, and then I'm supposed to be interested in how she does it all... (Obviously not very well...) Anytime she is in a magazine or on Entertainment Tonight, I flip the page or mute the tv because I DON'T CARE!!! And now that she's had her 15 minutes of fame, she thinks she's a star and we're supposed to care when she gets a new haircut! What is wrong with our society that we've come to this?!? And NOW she's going to be on 'Dancing with the Stars' but SHE'S NOT A STAR!! She's just a regular schmo who had 8 kids! And got a divorce! And got a haircut! Or hair extensions!

Which brings me to the Bachelor's Jake Pavelka, who also thinks he's a star now that's he's been on a few episodes of television. And his 'fiance' that he's SO in love with (after 3 makeout sessions on television) wants to be a star too. So they go out to eat every night in Hollywood to the restaurants that have paparrazi in front, to land in the star magazines. YACK!! So he, too, will be on 'Dancing with the Stars'.... and, again, he TOO is NOT a star, he's a commercial airline pilot with bad judgment (and I hope to never fly with him piloting for that very reason.)

So all the wannabe stars and all the wanna comeback stars and all the need-to-lose-some weight stars all come together in the perfect trifecta of 'Dancing with the Stars,' and America eats it up. We watch them get their DWTS makeover, complete with spray tan and sequinned costumes, bump and grind, and then listen to Carrie Ann, Len and Bruno tell them how improved they are.

Frankly, Scarlett.........

"There is no halftime for cheerleaders."

Sorry for the short post, but today was cheerleader tryouts for my seventh grader for next year's squad. I'm exhausted.... I feel like I've just climbed Mount Everest, just from the toll on my body from stress. (For those of you that are not mothers, it's harder on you for your child than for yourself.) It was high drama this year since only a few are chosen, and the competition is off the charts. But when you 'play with the big boys,' its' going to be tough!

She DID make it though, and is, of course, delighted.

Thank you God....

Cutest guys at the Oscars - 2010

2010 Oscar's Best Fashions

Helen - Classy 'dame,' dressed age-appropriate, Oscars-appropriate...

Anna - Gorgeous in blush, very age-appropriate, young and sweet...

Elizabeth - My favorite at the Oscars - stunning, and SO Oscar-esque...

Rachel - Love it... this is the Boho look I would've worn...

Demi - Gorgeous... and age-less, all that work is paying off...

Cameron - also very Oscar-esque, almost too much to be mistaken for a real Oscar...

2010 Oscar's Worst Fashions

Sorry, Nicole, Worst fashion at the Oscars... no pretty color, no shiny-ness to catch the camera, just gray and black. Just wrong for Hollywood's biggest event of the year...
Maggie's dress is runner up to worst - terrible design & colors....

Mariah - All her dresses look the same, just different colors..

Jlo - Curves are great but this is just TOO curvy and bizarre fabric...

Molly - Why am I singing the Barney song...

Miley -  Not age-appropriate for 16 year old; growing up too fast like all child stars... 

SJP - I don't 'get' it, I know it's Chanel but it looks like a satin tote sack...

"I don't care who you are. When you sit down to write the first page of your screenplay in your head, you're also writing your acceptance speech."

(Nora Ephron quote)

And the Oscar goes to....
Wow, how cool would THAT be to hear your name winning an Oscar! I think a lot of us girls dream of putting on the gorgeous dress that some big designer custom made for us for free, that usually costs a bazillion dollars, and jewels, and be pampered for a day. I think I would pick out sort of a Boho-looking style, a la Kate Hudson, that is formal, yet not over-the-top. I would have my hair down because I'm not the Queen of England, and Boho calls for hair down any way. Earrings would be dangly, sort of medium style chandeliers, again going with the formal Boho look.

I WOULD take a date, a man, because I think it's STUPID to take you hair stylist or your aunt to the biggest event of the year. (Sheesh!) I would arrive to the red carpet in a limo, since it's tradition and I would NOT make a statement by arriving in a Prius, and not only ruin my dress, but my image. I would talk to all talking heads and not snub the ones I don't care for, like Angelina Jolie did. I would be gracious, classy and humble because 'my momma didn't raise no fool.'

My answers would not include TMI, like some of them do after a little too much champagne and tell us what color their thong is or similar garbage. I wouldn't dodge through the back door like Jennifer Aniston did when trying to avoid Brad Pitt, and I wouldn't be late (again like Jennifer Aniston) to one of the biggest parties of the year and of my life. I would smile for the cameras and wave to the throngs of spectators, knowing that' by the grace of God, there go I.' My expression would NOT look smug and queenly like Angelina Jolie, who's very mind can be read as she stands there thinking, "I wish I were not here, I wish I was in France or Africa looking like I'm saving the world, but I DO want to show off the man I stole from his wife." (at least that's what I think she's thinking!)
So, we get inside, they announce MY name!! It's time to get up to say the speech of a lifetime. Personally, I have thought of that speech a lot over the years... Why, I don't know, I don't even act. But the thought of being able to thank people in front of millions all over the world, is just too neat of a thought. I don't think I could put up with 'Hollywood,' and it's plasticity, for two seconds, but giving the speech... well, that's just nirvana.
So, here goes. (My blog CAN go out to millions all over the planet, so I guess this is the next best thing...)

Oh! I'm so surprised!! (I have to say this to look humble.) What an honor to be nominated with such other awesome women (I have to say this too, so their looks won't kill.) First of all, thank you to the Academy (so I'll win again some day) And thank you to, the list of all the movie people, other stars, producers, cameramen, makeup and hair people (critical to us women), guy that brought us donuts, etc, etc.

I'd like to thank my mother for the endless hours she gave, in helping with homework, driving me to dance and whatever else I wanted to do, being there when I was sick, crying with me when a boy broke up with me, giving me advice on life, typing college papers for me (and quickly at deadline), leaving me surprise presents on my bed, trying to be fair when I had fights with my sister and brother, helping me out financially when I was overdrawn, coming over and occasionally cleaning (and leaving a note that the good fairy had been there), doing my laundry when my washing machine broke, helping out with my children when they were half sick and I couldn't miss work, helping get them Christmas presents when we were unemployed one year, helping them pay for college and sororities, cooking wonderful dinners, listening to my stories and venting, allowing me to make my own mistakes and picking me up after I've made them, and loving me all the days of my life.

To my dad, thank you for being such a great provider, and for just being there, like the king of our household. Thank you for disciplining me, because I was a handful and needed it. Thank you for pushing me to be better, and knowing I could do it. Thank you for buying my first car and paying for my college. Thank you for not leaving mom. Thank you for loving me.

Thank you to all of my teachers along the way, because 'it takes a village' to raise a child. Thank you to my Sunday school teachers, Girl Scout leaders, and anyone that volunteered to help me along my path. Thank you to my grandparents for helping out when you could. To my ex, I say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have never deserved your kindness nor forgiveness, but you gave it anyway. You are a classy, giving, stable and dependable man, who has given all you have to three wonderful kids. I will always be in your debt.

And to my children, the three best gifts in my life, for whom all of this is for. I love each of you so incredibly much. Without you, my life would be empty and cold. You are the reason I get up in the morning, and I only hope that I can be someone you will want to thank some day when you reach your dreams. Each of you has been there for me, and I am so proud to be your mother. It means more than any Oscar could ever mean.
(By this time the orchestra would have been playing over me, and they would have cut to commercial eons ago, but I would have continued on because it was my moment, and I may not ever get the chance to do it again...
HAPPY OSCARS, GIRLS! See you on the red carpet!!

"Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

With the suicides of late of Marie Osmond's son and TV star from 'Growing Pains,' it makes me so sad that these guys and so many others decide to end their lives. I've been depressed before... there was a period of several years when I would come home from work and just lie on the bed. I just wanted the pain to stop. It's what the majority of these people want.

My father killed himself eight years ago, so I know the pain of those that are left behind to pick up the pieces. I know the pain that Marie Osmond is going through... Was there something else that I could have done? Those nagging questions - the 'if onlys' will haunt me the rest of my life. Why didn't I stay with him longer? Why didn't I insist he could come live with me? My mother had just died a week earlier and we were all grieving. He had been so tough all his life, I thought it would continue...
In my past deep depression, I was in a terrible, destructive relationship that I couldn't seem to pull out of. There seemed to be a blanket of darkness over me that I couldn't get out from underneath. I remember one day an inner voice said, 'Ok, if you're serious about dying, then do something about it.' It was like the old cartoons with the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. So the angel said, (in an inner voice) 'Life is a gift, a wonderful gift.' The devil said, 'Go ahead, your children will be better off without your sorry ass.' And the angel said, 'No, never. It's the most selfish act you could ever do. Life is an adventure.' That day, I decided to live - really live. It took me awhile, but I got there. And I have never forgotten that life is a wonderful gift.

We have choices every day. When we choose to do wrong things, we bring bad spirits in our lives. And they put chains on us. They bring addictions and pain. And when we choose to stop those things and ask God to help us, then they leave. It's why all addiction programs like the seven step process in AA starts with number one - giving their addiction to a higher power (God.) Only He can give someone the power when they get that low. They get past the 'pick up yourselves by the boot straps,' and only God can pick them up. It's a choice, and once you make it, He steps in. It's a moment when you say (like the song says), 'Jesus, take the wheel.'

That's when the adventure starts. That's when you're truly free. That's when you can start enjoying your gift of life.