"Youth is wasted on the young..."

I miss being young... I miss the carefree days when I didn't have a care in the world except friend drama or getting my homework done. I miss riding my bike with my friends and leaving in the morning and not coming back until dinnertime. Our house was on a huge lot that backed up to a creek and beyond that, open land with tons of trees. My best friend, Nancy and I used to climb those trees and look out over the houses to far, far away and dream about what we were going to do. We built forts in that back lot, and ours was the G.A.L.S. club, an acronym for each of our last names. My brother and his friends had forts too, and we would play 'army' and have wars against each other. On Halloween, we would go without parents for hours and hours, and when our bags were full, we would empty them and keep going. There was this one house where we had to sing to this elderly lady, and then she would give us money. We dreaded/looked forward to her house every year. Our moms had station wagons (actually all moms in the neighborhood did), but Nancy's mom had a Vista Cruiser with windows on the roof for us in the back seat. It's still one of my favorite cars.

In the summers, her mother would take us to Fort Sam's Officer Club pool, which started my love of the military. It was just cool to go on base seeing all those perfect stucco buildings that all looked the same and all the men in uniform. On the fourth of July, her parents would take us back to the base with blankets and ice chests, and we would lay down and watch the fireworks and the stars and hold our ears and laugh.

I can remember like yesterday when Nancy was on her green bike and I was on my blue one, and she said "I'm never going to wear a bra" as if to say, I'm never going to grow up. I totally agreed. It's also crystal clear in the sixth grade at the bridge near our house, when we decided from that day forward that we were just too old for dolls, and we never played with them again. We rode our bikes to school together, and after school, we got ice cream every day from the ice cream truck, and then drove home with the wind in our faces. At Nancy's house, one time her granny locked us out of the house, and we laughed and laughed, trying to 'break in.' We took ballet together, and on the way home, her mom took us to Dairy Queen for ice cream every time.

At the end of sixth grade, Nancy's family moved to California, closing a chapter in my life. It's still one of my worst memories...It was my birthday, and I chased their station wagon as it drove away, out of my life. I cried and cried...Life would never be the same... good, but never the same. And Nancy and I stayed great friends all these years. We will see each other, every other year usually, and find that we shop at the same stores and have similar taste. And of course all of our stories...

And my youngest daughter now takes ballet classes...

and I still reward myself with some ice cream every now and then....

"Before you were born, I set you apart..." -- Jeremiah

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..." -- Jeremiah

Hurray for the courage of Tim Tebow off the field! He is a stand-up guy and not afraid to be a witness for God. He's not politically correct in 2010... how refreshing. He has a poignant story to tell, and it's told in a gentle way in a Pro Life commercial set to air in next weekend's Super Bowl.

And the pro 'Choice' folks are spazzing out. What about our freedom of speech? Tim's mother was evidently encouraged to abort (kill) her child (in the womb) in order to save her life. It was Mrs. Tebow's decision and she CHOSE to have her baby. As a woman of faith, she knew killing her unborn child was wrong, and the rest is, of course, history. And the obvious is, that she and her baby were fine, and what a special kid Tim turned out to be.

Gloria Allred, attorney to the stars, says she is going to file a lawsuit against CBS for airing a commercial that is false advertising. What?! I am gobsmacked (one of my favorite British words) at the chutzpah of this woman. She says no doctor in the Phillippines would have said this (since that's where Mrs. Tebow was serving as a missionary at that time.) Well, Gloria Allred was not there and does not know their personal situation, nor will she ever. She is trying to scare CBS into not running the commercial.

I cannot understand how these Pro Abort people can look at these in utero photos, and still think it's okay to murder a child? Usually these folks decide to abort (kill) because it's inconvenient or embarrassing. Rarely is it for cases such as rape or life of the mother...

Some day Gloria and her cohorts will pass from this life, and meet the almighty God. They may shake their finger in His face and say they don't believe in Him or agree with Him. And He will say,"EVERY knee shall bow..."

Are you ready for some football??

"Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid." -- John Wayne

Have I mentioned I love John Wayne? He just nails it with everything he said. Men are so simple. What you see is what you get. No complex emotions like with women. They just tell it like it is. Men these days just seem different. Like the word 'metro-sexual' - this word is only used in Texas to describe someone in New York City... a man who gets a facial, wears makeup, carries a man purse. A few years ago I had to spend a month in training in Connecticut. Just seemed to me the men were more effeminate and the women were more masculine. I was never happier when I finally got to DFW and saw cowboy hats and boots. Maybe it's all the female hormones that are supposed to be in the water. Or maybe it's all the hormones they inject in beef and chicken these days. It's just that men don't seem as tough as they were in John Wayne's generation...

I'm not sure the whole feminism thing worked very well either. It sounded good. Equal pay for equal work. I'm definitely for that. Fairness is all I ask for. But, whether we women will admit it or not, we like the protection of a man. Our emotional makeup is better for the tons of smaller decisions. We were designed to be co-pilots for the pilots. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with a woman president. We are moodier, there's no denying it. And distracted, by our children and well, life. In my early twenties, I had a big argument with my father that he was sexist and had a double standard. He basically agreed, and said he didn't make the rules, that's just how it is. He wanted me to get a college degree for backup, but I've had to use it ever since.

I'm the stupid one - and life has been harder for me than it should've been...

"Hold faithfulness and sincerity as first principles." -- Confucius

Tiger Woods comes to mind -- lack of faithfulness leading to mockery of his marriage.

Tiger never appealed to me personally. He always seemed like a machine. One dimensional, serious, all golf, no personality. I did (and still do) respect his golfing ability, that has never been in question. Why has everyone reacted with such disgust in this 'liberated' nation? We've all seen 'players' before... I guess it's that he did not present himself that way. He was evidently a Dr. Jekyl, Mr. Hyde - 2 distinct personalities - public Tiger and private Tiger, and he kept them in very separate compartments.

He had the killer combination of excellence at a sport and excellence in marketing himself. He (or someone that represents him) knew exactly what would sell and, in retrospect, it seems so calculating. I'm in the business of marketing - it's what I do all day long. And I can spot genius marketing. Bingo. He never said too much. He was disciplined at all his work functions. He had and did all the right things - sponsorship vehicles, shoes, jewelry, clothes.. Married the gorgeous Swedish model/nanny. Had the obligatory daughter, son, and dogs.

He never struck me as a great dad or husband. He seemed too self absorbed. It's all about him, 24/7. You see that's how a player thinks ultimately - it's all about meeting their needs. The women? Well, she asked for it, she knew the gamble (in his mind.) Even now, Tiger's attorneys are trying to buy off the squeaky wheels. He didn't love any of them, they were interchangeable. It seems he was incapable of love, but just using people to get his own selfish needs met. He did seem to love his father, who invested in him but, in the end, left him unprepared for anything but a life of golf. He learned early about the accolades of success. And with his bank account and notoriety, there was never a shortage of pretty women throwing themselves at him. All that golf discipline seemed to go out the door then.

The celeb magazines say he's in rehab for sex addiction. I'm not so sure that's his problem...He doesn't need rehab, he needs an encounter with God, he needs a 'heart transplant.' I think that's what Brit Hume of Fox News was talking about. Tiger is the product of the American Dream gone wrong. Blind ambition. Money without morals. It seems like the perfect metaphor for America in 2010....

It's the Real Thing......

It took all night helping my tween-aged daughter finish her Science Fair project - must be there at 7 am tomorrow - ugh! We got this email comparing Coke and water, and it said Coke did all these damaging things to objects (thus to our bodies.) So we decided to try out 6 of these 'experiments.' Most were a disappointment... The Coke was supposed to 'eat' the T-bone (pictured) after 2 days, but no, just turned it brown. It was also supposed to 'eat' a nail, but also just colored it brown. I'm bummed! I thought it would be so cool to watch this happen... oh well, have a Coke and a smile! It's not as bad as we thought!

"All great change in America begins at the dinner table." -- Ronald Reagan

Does anybody even have dinner together any more? Do moms cook any more? I was fortunate to have a stay at home mother that made dinner every night, but these days everyone is just too busy. Most moms work and don't have time to cook much. Most kids have tons of extra-curricular activities, and are hardly home.

We've just all gotten too busy - myself included. And the mindless TV is on, catching our attention. I just long for the old days when people used to talk more. Sit on their front porch. No wonder everyone is on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety pills. There's too much noise...you can hardly think. There's too much news, too many electronics and too many media - television, radio, newspaper, internet, magazines, and the list goes on.

We need to turn it off. We can't do anything about a monsoon in Thailand. Or a rapist in India. The whole world is so much more connected now in communication than it was even 10 years ago. It's just overload. Go back to spending more time with our family. Turn the TV off and play games. Read a book. Take a walk. You CAN control some things. And once you've done that, you can actually sit at the dinner table, and contribute to world peace.

"Life is like a box of chocolates.... Forrest Gump

"Mama always says, 'Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.' "
-- Forrest Gump

I loved the movie, "Forrest Gump." Sometimes life CAN be reduced to some simple true-isms that Forrest said like, "Stupid is as stupid does," and "I guess there aren't enough rocks" and "Mama always says, dying was a part of life."

I'm glad you never know what you're going to get in life. Every day is sort of a crap shoot -- a rolling of the dice. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. I was once asked if I could find out what the future held, would I want to know. No. Never. Because NOT knowing gives us the hope each and every day. And if we knew the bad in the future, we would just be dreading it rather than enjoying the present.

So have a chocolate and let life be a surprise. It's sort of like a child's toy Jack-in-the-Box - we keep turning the handle to the music and wait for Jack to pop up. Life is a roller coaster - when you're down it will go up and when you're up, it will go down. Roller coasters wouldn't be fun if they were flat. Once you accept that this is how life is, you won't be so stressed about it. If you believe God when He said, "and lo, I am with you always," then you know you're ultimately going to be okay.

So, accept the roller coaster. Enjoy the ride. That's all I have to say about that.....

"Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives."

Ok, I admit it, I stole this quote from the soap opera intro to Days of Our Lives, which I used to watch eons ago (but could pick it back up in one episode.)
Hourglasses have freaked me out since I was very young, and saw them on the Wizard of Oz with the Wicked Witch. In a very graphic way, you could see your life as those sands quickly going through the hourglass, never to come back again.... You just want to flip it over, and start all over again, but you know you can't. The reality is, we just get one hourglass, and we better make the most of it. Time is strange like that...

The concept of death hit me as a young child, about 4 or 5 years old, right after my great-grandmother died, whom I was extremely close to. Mammy was cool, and funny, and grand and let me do whatever I wanted. She was rich and lived at the top of a grand hotel (the St. Anthony) in downtown San Antonio. We used to stay with her when my parents (who were young) needed to get away from their 3 kids and take a trip. We would go downstairs to Peacock Alley, where all the old people would listen to beautiful live music, and they would say to me, "Dance, Dance!" I've always loved an audience, and it started my dance classes (and love of dance.) We would stare out of her window, and I would say, "Jesus is staring at me," since a huge methodist church across the street had Jesus looking in our window. We would play dress up in all of her cool clothes and jewelry box. Delicious memories.

I didn't quite understand the day she died, but when she didn't come back, it began to hit me. And then I remember crying for what seemed like days... She still hasn't come back, none of them have. Death is so final - ugh! They're here one day and poof - they're gone. I went for years trying not to think about it, but I'm not young anymore, and the older you get, the closer it gets, just using common sense. In my small town, we've lost three souls under the age of 16, and a local 31 year old in Afganhistan since school started. We've been under a dark cloud this year, and it's been tough to deal with. Even though I didn't know any of them very well, I know people who do and are hurting. And it does cross your mind, it could've been someone I do know very well, or my child, or me...
And then it hits me, I 've got to manage my 'sands' - my time, better. I'm not getting any younger. I've wasted a huge chunk of my life on really stupid stuff. And of course work takes up the vast majority of time as an adult anyway. And the rest of the day, I've got chores and I'm tired. Throw tv shows in there, and when can you do something substantive? But I've got to carve it out. I've got to cull the big time wasters out. I can hear that sand going through the hourglass. And I can only see the bottom of it - I can't see how much sand is left at the top....

"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"

Barbie - the quintessential girl's American dream... Barbie has it all - the perfect body, the perfect hair, the perfect cars, any job she wants and a cute boyfriend to have on her arm - oh wait, I think she is single now, but I digress...
My oldest daughter used to play Barbies for hours on end. Of course, she was a 'clothes horse' starting at age four. She was my first girl, and the baby girl clothes were all so cute. A 'girly-girl' from the get-go, she and Barbie were destined to be close. Playing Barbies was her alone time - she loved the fashion aspect. She would often ask me if we could have a fashion contest to see who could put together the best outfit. Of course she always won - not because she was young and I would let her, but because she was better. I would be silly and throw a bunch of mismatch clothes on my Barbie - pretty much as I do with myself today. When her cousin came over to play, I did feel guilty because K's Barbie would get married, live in a castle and live happily ever after. My daughter's Barbie would go to work and be tired when she got home... She had quite the collection amassed - definitely around 100 Barbies. And boxes of clothes. It's hard to find separate clothes these days, you have to buy the doll for the outfit.

One of my best friends has a Barbie tree every Christmas. When we were young, her mother started the tradition of Barbie clothes in her stocking every year. Now that her mother is gone, others have continued the tradition. And she's had Barbie birthday parties.... recently. I don't think you can get too old for Barbie... or pink. It's sort of a 'Girl Power' thing - we girls need to stick together.

It's okay to aspire for the Barbie dream life, but not let it get out of hand like reality star, Heidi Montag. She had already had the 'Barbie makeover' with plastic surgery, but now, after more surgeries, looks more like Barbie on steroids. The saying in Hollywood that 'you can't be too blonde or too thin,' isn't true. Heidi looks more like a robot, or Stepford wife now.

So girls, it's okay to embrace Barbie, just don't lose yourself in the process...

"A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation." -- Mark Twain

Well, I find this convicting.. I have no idea what words I habitually use, except when I get mad! I try to be positive and complimentary with my words but am certainly not always successful. I am told I relay a lot of dramatic (true) stories, which probably means I am fearful. Guilty. And I habitually yell at other drivers like I'm from Jersey, which probably means I am frustrated. Guilty again.
I once read that you should give sweet nicknames to your small children like cutie and cupcake, and this is how they will think of themselves. Some parents think it's funny to call their kids punk, dork, or worse but truly the names they keep hearing are sinking into their psyche. That's probably true for us all. There's a Bible verse that says, "But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart..."
So it's a heart condition and not a vocabulary problem. I guess that's what Mark Twain was saying...

"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us, or we find it not." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

One of my favorite quotes... It used to hang on a poster in my dorm room at college. For me, the grass was always greener on the other side. Fresh start. New beginnings. I always thought if I moved, everything would get better... Always searching for that perfect place. Too, I'm pretty ADD - can't sit still very long and get bored with things much too quick.

I've moved way too many times to even admit to. Let's just say my moving guys know me by name and after awhile, they've told me they wonder why I haven't called. My head moving guy, Jammin just got married. I know this and we're not even related.... When I was much younger, we lived in rent houses, so as soon as we got into a good one, the owner would sell it. And if we were in a less desirable house, we wanted a better one. Somewhere in there it became a habit - it evolved into who I am. I already know that some day at my funeral, they'll say 'she moved a lot,' and shake their heads. All of my adult life I had dreamed of owning a big, Victorian house and when I finally bought one, it was just way too big. It's just me and my youngest now, and the house was a money pit. I finally had to declare sunk cost, and stop throwing good money on bad. Besides, it was so big, it was scary. I had always wanted to live on this street named Bluebonnet. I would drive up and down this perfect street with these perfect houses, but finally when we did live on Bluebonnet, the house had a flea infestation, scary sounds in the attic, and a psycho stalked me there. I also always wanted to live on a lake, but again, when we did, it was terribly far to commute to work, and since we didn't have a boat, we were always frustrated sitting on the dock watching everyone else. Actually my favorite places to live have been the two duplexes we lived in - not because they were duplexes - they just had a good vibe - house charisma, if you will. Sure it's fun to redecorate each time we move. And it's also very cleansing - many have commented, "I guess you don't have a junk drawer." I certainly wasn't raised this way, we only lived in three houses, one when we were really young, our homestead for school age, and they downsized once we all left home. I'm guessing the part of my brain in this area is very damaged...My older kids have to use a tour map to show where they grew up, with no real attachment to any of them. (Actually my son's favorite was his dad's retro apartments which had lots of fun places to ride bikes.)

So, go figure... I guess "home is where your heart is" or as I say, "home is where your stuff is," says it best. And that money doesn't buy happiness. And don't search for the impossible, you'll save yourself a lot of time.....

"Everyday is Christmas..." -- my mom

My dear, sweet mother said this in her year of remission from lung cancer. She also said she wasn't going to buy any green bananas. She treasured each day, knowing that she was on borrowed time after having part of her lung out and chemotherapy. She sensed that the end was near.
It's hard to put in a nutshell, all the great things about my mother, Marlene. All of my friends loved her, because she was cool before cool was invented. She was not on the cutting edge - she was before the cutting edge. She wore blue jeans long before other women. She hunted and fished right along side my dad, but always did better. (She held the record for the largest marlin caught on the Gulf coast for years.) She was good at everything. In high school, she was the lead actress in their school plays, and had to choose between Homecoming Queen and Miss Kilgore High, since she was voted for both. She was extremely bright, much smarter than me, and helped me with pretty much everything until she got sick at the age of seventy.
She had a very approachable persona, and had no enemies, not one. She had a loyal set of friends who laughed incessantly. She never talked bad about anyone behind their back and she never gossiped. She left East Texas since she didn't like the terrible racism she witnessed, and marched in the Martin Luther King parade every year. She was an avid reader and was very well-versed in all things English. She was a writer, and wrote free lance articles for magazines, short stories, and Texas history publications. Proud of her ancestry, she was in the Daughters of the Republic of Texas, spoke at Gonzales' "Come and Take It'"annual event, and was an officer in the Conservation Society, spearheading the saving of the Municipal Auditorium in San Antonio.
And she would have had a blog if she would have known about them. She always had the latest Mac, and stayed up on whatever would keep her young and hip.
She was the most unselfish person I've ever met. She was everyone's favorite and when she died, each of her grandchildren felt as if they had lost their mother. She was funny, real funny. She would be cooking at home and then break into a tap dance. One time we were at the eye doctor at the Nix Hospital and got onto a crowded elevator when I was in early high school, and she started pretending like she was deaf and (fake) signing to me. I never laughed so hard when the elevator opened.
I miss her every day. I want to call her, but I can't. I've often thought that God should give us one more shot with people after they're gone. One more chance to tell them we love them. Oh, if I could hug her one more time - she had the best hugs. She was irreplaceable. She was like one of those people at a job that did 15 people's jobs, and it would take 15 people to replace them. Only a million times more.
I don't know why someone as good as my mother had to suffer so much at the end. Good people just shouldn't have to go through that. But I know she'll be waiting at the pearly gates for me when my time comes. And she'll give me one of those good, good hugs...

"All it takes is money..." -- my dad

I miss my dad... he's been gone almost eight years. Some days it feels like last year and some days it feels like twenty. I felt so secure when he was in this world. He was such a stablizing force, you could set your clock by him. My dad saw things in black and white, there was no gray. When he said something, he meant it, always. If he said he'd be there, he was, and on time (or early.)
He had very high standards, and wouldn't accept less. He attended Texas Military Institute, and to this day, is the smartest person I've ever known. If we ever had a bet on something we both thought was right, he always won. My mother said he was tested at a younger age, and was at the genius level. I believe it. He was just always right. He could be very difficult, don't get me wrong. But he commanded respect, and he got it from everyone.
He was cool, calm and collected and never yelled, not even once. He would back up whatever he said, so if he said no, he meant it or there were serious consequences. He was a real man. They don't make men the way they used to. Dad was like John Wayne, or the guys in the Westerns. He was bigger than life, he still is.
He spoke sayings that I like to call Martin-isms (his name was Martin.) One of them was "All it takes is money..." which he pretty much said after everything we mentioned. If I said I wanted to go to Hawaii, he said it. If I said I needed a new dress, he said it. You can say it after almost everything actually, and it seems even more relevant today with the diving economy. I often wonder what he would think about Obama, and the decisions being made in the government, and what the future holds. I think he would answer with a simple 'Martin-ism' but I'm not sure what it would be. It would be something as truthful as 'all it takes is money,' -- I just wish I knew what it was...

“Do all the good you can..."

"Do all the good you can, By all the means you can, In all the ways you can, In all the places you can, At all the times you can."
I chose this quote to live by today because of the terrible aftermath of the earthquake in poverty-stricken Haiti. It is just too unbearable to watch… the devastation in a country that was awful before the tragedy, but is now in a tail spin they may not ever come out of. .. When I see the images on the television, I have to look away. What can I do but pray and donate money? These kinds of natural disasters can bring out the best in humanity, people from different nations united in the common cause of helping out his fellow man – working side by side searching for survivors as the clock ticks ever so loudly. This disaster brings up memories of Hurricane Katrina and 9/11 in NYC….such a feeling of helplessness, such a sadness to see the desperation in the victim’s eyes. Eyes are truly the windows to the soul, and that makes it even harder to see their faces. The news told of a mother of five children, four of whom had died, and as the fifth passed, she was wailing the haunting wail that one never forgets…. Jesus said we should do unto others what we would have them do unto us, so we should help in all the ways we can. Its what we would want if we were in their plight…
There are so many organizations to donate to – even $1 will help – together we can make a difference.

"I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." -- Michelangelo

In this, my first blog, I wish to impart words to live by, daily quotes that will, hopefully, make your life a little easier. I’ve always learned by the ‘school of hard knocks’ rather than from someone else’s mistakes. What’s the saying? A genius will learn from someone elses’ mistakes, a smart person will learn from his own mistakes, and an idiot will learn from neither? Well, here’s hoping my words of wisdom will help you in your life, and in the process, I get to let you into my world.
The idea started when I wanted to encourage my twenty-something son in his ‘travails’ at his big city job. At his age, they don’t really accept advice, so I decided a thought for the day might get him thinking. Then when I got on Facebook, I wanted to make a difference – leave my daily mark – be cool yet unobtrusive – get them thinking but not in a preachy way. It’s funny that the quotes that really seem to inspire me get little to no response, but the ones that don’t speak to me as much, have gotten the most response. The night before each day, I look around for quotes, and then I sort of ‘know in my knower’ that it’s the right one.
Today’s quote is:
“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” – Michelangelo
Ummm… this one really speaks… To me, it says to be a free-er spirit, not tied to the mundane, the everyday, the ordinary - too have more of an artist’s soul. I crave to have the kind of talent that Michelangelo had, that only God can give. I long to do something bigger - to make a huge, positive difference in people’s live. My goal in this blog is to impart through my writing, a better, more satisfying life. Follow me in my journey, the ‘power of one,’ and with God’s help, may your life be richer for it.