"No rest for the weary..."

If you don't have kids and you live in the USA, let me shed some light on some things for you because this comes up every single day. Yesterday DD and I ran into our church youth group leader and his wife who are in their late twenties and have one son who is in kindergarten. He had just had his first soccer game of the year (and his life.) They explained how they yelled and screamed, and became crazy parents. I said to get used to it, because these days everything gets "set in stone" very early on. Parents really have to decide which sports their kids will play by an early age, because they have to be sending them to lots of extra classes for them to be able to exceed. By sixth grade, it's all pretty much decided. My co-worker has a son who is 8 years old, and the middle schools are already "scouting" who the great football players are on his competitive team. Even the little 8 year old cheerleaders are already in competitive cheer, and will most certainly make it since they have started so young.
(sigh) Is it ridiculous? Of course, but I don't make the "rules," I'm simply explaining them. Why is it like this you ask? Because college is so expensive, that ALL parents are trying to get their kids scholarships. Truly, that IS the reason. And the parents are the ones who are "fighting to the death." Okay, that's an exaggeration, but not much. DD's boyfriend is a senior and is now in the process of applying to colleges and looking for scholarships. His parents decided early for him that he is talented in tennis and band, and he does both for hours a day. Each activity he practices for four hours a day, and that is no exaggeration. He has no other life except homework, and that's to keep his grades up, again, so he can get a scholarship. This makes the kids all so competitive, that beating the other kid is always the goal. And the parents... it's actually disgusting. When DD won "Most outstanding" dance team member at her dance team camp this summer, there were parents that didn't speak to us for weeks after that. And when they did, they sarcastically referred to the fact that she got in many more photos than their daughter did.
Consequently no kid has their friend's "back." It's so dog-eat-dog that it's all just one long non-stop competition. And it gets really weary. Even the summers are sports camps to improve, or cheer camp, or dance camp or whatever camp. And in between camps, there are lots of classes and lots of practices in whatever activity they are in. And, to top it off, in DD's varsity cheerleading, there is even more drama than last year, as the mom of the girl who did not get cheer captain, is furious and trying to sabotage the one who did. It's all pretty crazy... It's also almost impossible for me as a single mom, to compete with all of this, but I'm trying for DD's sake.
Because the alternative still seems worse...

Men are from Mars...

There are so many subjects I want to post about... but today I'm trying to "coach" DD on the subject of men... (sigh) It's more of a "do what I say, and not what I did" sort of counsel because CLEARLY I am single and have done it all wrong for years. But I've seen what works with the few happily married couples that I know, and I combine that with basically just doing the right thing always, and try to talk her into doing that. She's a sophomore and her boyfriend is a senior, and this is her first boyfriend but this is his fourth or fifth girlfriend... They've been dating for four months, and evidently most of his relationships have only lasted four months, with only one lasting six months. He isn't as affectionate now, nor is he as interested, so she's pretty blue over it all. All he says now is, "I'm tired," when they get together and doesn't make time for her anymore, choosing his best friend over her even on weekends. And yes, it doesn't sound good to me either...
Part of me wants to tell her to play hard to get, and play the games that challenge guys. Or to make him jealous, because that usually works if they have ANY interest at all. But then I think, who wants to play games any way? It's all so effort-full, and there are no guarantees either will work. DD has said the girls in the past that have pulled back when he has, have lost the relationship.
I've told her that guys in their senior year get a little cocky with the whole "Big man on campus" mentality, when they are finally King of the Hill. And there's nothing she can do about that. AND, her boyfriend is probably the cutest guy in her whole school, so tons of girls are flirting shamelessly with him. DD is such a GOOD person, much better than me. And with no siblings at home, she just doesn't have a mean bone in her body, as she's never really learned to argue or compete with anyone, at least at home. She's never had the "killer instinct" at sports for those very reasons. So she says she just keeps a smile on her face at school, when inside, she is falling apart.
As her mother, it's so hard to watch. Even though it "ain't my first rodeo" in the arena of raising kids, it never gets any easier to watch them learn, grow and suffer with life's lessons. I want to call him and ball him out, which of course I would never do. I get mad and say some bad words and try to get out my frustration, but it's maddening. And I want to tell her it gets easier, but it really doesn't...
Tonight I told her of a couple that in know, whom she knows, that I said are one of the few happily married couples I know. She was surprised since this guy is a whiner, and a baby, and well, sort of a dufus. But I told her that his wife somehow thinks she's got "the prize." I honestly thought they were both on their second marriage when I met them two years ago, since they acted like newly marrieds. But they've been married 25 years, and still want to be physical like it's their first year of marriage. And she babies him, and makes him his favorite dinners nightly, and acts like it's their last night together every night. And it works for her. And him. Go figure.
I'll never understand men. And maybe I just don't want to any way. It takes
Too. much. energy.
I'm tired...

"For God has not given us the spirit of fear..."

Is it just me or does anyone else feel an "angst" that just won't go away? My immediate family feels it too, or is it all the people I live around, or just Texans, or just Americans, or is it the whole world??
There are reports that Iranians have been told to stay inside for two weeks, and not go to work or school. And I hear that Israel is on the highest alert. Stories today say the prez has told Israel that, as commander-in-chief, the US will not help Israel if they bomb Iran.
So here we sit... on the brink of what seems to be World War III. And to make matters worse, the Democratic National Convention is starting, and just watching these people is extremely distressing. They are completely blinded to the truth and it's stressful -- this whole election is stressful. To me, if you ask the question, "Are you better off than you were 4 years ago," the answer is not only no, but hell no! Anyone who responds differently is completely deceived or lying to themselves. And the liberals see conservatives as THE enemy, even more than jihadists. Because, in essence, we ARE more of an enemy to them, at least for now, because we are moral and righteous and bring light to their darkness. And they hate it and they hate us because ultimately they want justification for their lifestyle. And they know we will not negotiate our values. They are mad at God and refuse to follow Him and hate anyone who does. They tell us to be tolerant when they are the least tolerant people in the country. They want to play by different rules. They want free speech but don't want us to have free speech. They are blindfolded from the truth and desire communism over capitalism. Little do they know that the hammer would come down, and they would lose all their rights. Rights of free speech, rights to sin, and lose most freedoms.
There is an air that there isn't much time. Even Paul Ryan said it in his speech last week. And the implication was, if there's still any time left now. Many think we're already past the point of no return, so THEN what? My co-worker mentioned something that's to happen in four more years and I said, "Who knows WHAT will have happened by that time?" My 15 year old cannot envision the future, and she's an optimist. I'm not even sure what to tell her. I try to sound hopeful but there is so much negative information out there, it's very difficult.
I try to live day by day. I try to live in the present because it's all we have. I was thinking yesterday that I'm so glad I cannot foresee the future, so I will not be dreading the bad things that will inevitably happen. I've just got to enjoy now.
It's all we've got...

"Life is a gift, that's why they call it the present..."

Today my youngest daughter and I attended a very sad funeral. It was for the husband of one of DD's teachers (and dance team sponsor.) When I used to work for the newspaper here, he used to come in occasionally to do an ad, and was so funny that I remembered him. He seemed larger than life, and was super charismatic. He was an incredible craftsman, and as a self-made man, had built a nice living for his family, which also included a son and daughter who are now in their twenties. A few years ago, they bought a nice ranch nearby, and seemed to be doing well. So it was a terrible shock to his wife of 30 years, his family, and pretty much this entire town that he took his own life last Thursday. To my knowledge, he did not leave a note. Here was this wonderful guy, who was healthy, married to the "love of his life" as he said, with 2 great kids, who decided to check out. They seemed to be okay with money, and health, and friends. No one can figure this one out. His daughter is engaged to be married soon, and they said he was excited and building her something. He had lots to look forward to.
The church was packed today, and he was a regular church goer. His pastor and another speaker, cried and said they couldn't figure it out either. Lots of funny stories were told about him, and everyone had one. He was one of the biggest characters around. I mean, think movie star charisma. This guy could've been in movies and been a hit - he was that cool. He came from a large family and they were all there. All in shock. All looking dumbfounded. His immediate family and mother sat on the front row, and his son seemed, well, angry. His pastor said there would be a lot of emotions to deal with, and started with anger. (sigh) I know about these things since my father committed suicide 10 years ago. And you never really get over it. There's always this nagging guilt that you could've done something so that they would not have made that decision. But in my dad's case, my mother had died the week prior, and his prostate cancer was back with a vengeance, so he didn't see anything good ahead. Not that anyone should ever make that choice, but his was easier to understand than the man today.
Getting older is crappy but, for most, it beats the alternative. Because life is a wonderful gift and we should use our minutes to the best of our ability. I guess I'll never understand.
Never, never, never...

"What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas??"

Well, it's Saturday night and I find this hilarious!! Prince Harry's naked romps in Vegas have prompted a Facebook page of Prince Harry's naked army. It's made up of 33,000 British soldiers and public who have gotten naked and given him a salute.
Well, at least they still have their sense of humor...